You took your toddler’s hand and moved them, wobbly feet and all, across the carpet, shared about two bunny ears, and how to make a bow, ducking one inside the hole, and held the back of their bike, as they zoomed and balanced, learning to ride without you.
Education is woven into the very identity of parenting.
Yet, there is something about homeschooling. When we start, our insecurities can lead to over-achieving, militant rigidity.
We can force straight backs, stiff chairs neatly tucked in, and expect silence as we mistakenly mirror back the type of “learning” modeled to us, as children.
But what if your child’s learning is more effective, less traditional; writing while listening to music, doing math while beating their leg like a drum, or reading while dangling from the seat of a couch, upside-down?
When I started homeschooling in 2013, I made some terrible mistakes.
I worked my kids for hours straight, teaching them daily every imagined subject and eventually inducing tears as I insisted each of my two children worked exactly the same curiculum…
Because isn’t that what they do in school, anyway?
How much I needed to learn.
What I found was homeschooling was a gift; an opportunity for more individual, tailor-made learning…
One where we could build on a child’s strengths, and specifically design a learning plan around a child’s own particular interests.
One of my child’s strengths was reading, the other more music and socially connecting.
While I could find a book at the library on most anything for my first child, my second child learned best with music playing in the background, or in a group of people, including her brother or friends.
Some children work better alone, others need a parent-lead, casual group setting.
If you are just starting to homeschool your child(ren) because of the Coronavirus, government shut-down’s forcing you to teach your children…
I want to encourage you from my mistakes.
I must admit, it can be tempting to blow a whistle at 7:00 a.m. and announce to the entire household, “We are starting school today.”
But as much as I hate to admit it, school actually doesn’t take the eight hours our kids are often gone, in a traditional academic setting.
At school, a ton of time is spent gathering kids, forming lines, explaining the “rules”, dealing with problem behaviors, and “busy work” so the teacher can grade the papers of her two dozen students.
There is recess, video-style learning and lunch-time as well.
One-on-one teaching is always the most afffective. And who knows a child’s needs, better than a parent?
Kids in public schools learn in much smaller amounts of time than the many hours they are often away at school.
In fact, the first year we homeschooled, I bought “traditional” and the best homeschool materials I could find. I did all my research. I thought I was prepared. In fact, I studied education in college and had taught in the classroom for seven consecutive years.
Thing was, as I pressed my very willing daughter through her curriculum each day, we ended up finishing an ENTIRE years worth of homeschooling in just two months…
You read that right. She finished an entire year of expensive, home-purchased, elitely chosen curriculum….In two months!
My daughter ended up doing second grade and third grade in that first year. We could have started fourth grade. But then, I finally realized there was something I was missing as a homeschool mom.
Homeschooling was more than books and academic learning.
Education was also about time together, connectimg, looking your child in the eyes and using nature, experimentation, cooking, stories, questions and anything else that’s in our child’s day-to-day environment…
Home educators are teaching always, books and lesson sheets are just supplement to this continual learning.
Homeschooling is about all-in, God-led, submission to His plan for each individual kid, focusing lessons and conversations on not just outward achievement, but inward character development…
Expecting…
Each child, each path, and each learning style is unique.
So, why do we try to put uniforms of conformity on the inward development of our children?
Didn’t God make each child precious, unique, according in His image? Doesn’t each child have a particular call that is specific and likely different for each?
As the years of homeschooling went on, I began to let my children learn in whatever environment was conducive for them.
One child liked bright lights and stiff tables, another learned best sprawling out on the carpet, while holding a stuffed animal, or dancing between lessons.
While one loved reading aloud, snuggling on my lap, I had to accept she learned best, acting out themes, singing the books of the Bible, drawing, or manipulating with her hands what I had taught her.
Kids have different personalities as well. Real education works with each child’s personality and learning style…not against it.
Knowing my child’s learning style (Take a Learning Style Quiz here), temperment (Temperment test here), and personality types (Color test here) has really helped in serving my children well; not just academically, but relationally, as a parent.
Having a general skeletin of what we want to learn each week is helpful. However, making learning (or anything, for that matter) fun, blossoms a child exponentially.
I wish I had known early on in homeschooling, the power of play, the ease of making a game out of writing, the positive benefits of just getting outdoors, and the life-long bond my children would create, from the simple gift of just having our family together all day.
When we homeschool, we don’t just “manage” our children while another person teaches them. We actually jump into our children’s heart, learn who they are, and begin to see how they see things.
We have time and hopefully patience to actually witness a child’s weaknesses, guide them toward their strength, and watch their dreams slowly unfold, while really knowing who they are personally.
Gone are the days we read about our children from some report card, or listen to another teacher tell us about who “their” students are.
We can really live, take on life together, with wisdom and attentiveness.
We can get outisde, frequently. Breath in the freshness of creation.
We may be confined to not socialize during this Coronavirus epidemic, but we aren’t mandated from nature. Nature is the world’s playground and playing is under-rated.
Hiking, rock-collecting, rubbing color crayons on paper with leaves we find under them, is a chance to not just read about nature, but see it, smell it, touch it…embrace it.
Creation has healing properties that calm anxious kids (And who in traditional learning settings has not been found anxious?)
As a foster parent, we have had some of the most anxious kids in our home, many with serious trauma, and yet, getting them outdoors calms them every time.
Kids heal as they stand underneath the stars, run through a wild forrest or climb a giant apple tree.
Kids learn best when they get their energy out, running, shooting hoops, laying on the grass with a favorite book, hearing the birds sing, and feeling the heat of the morning sun, warm their longing skin.
I wish I had known as much when my two oldest sat stiff at a table, hiding my own inadequacies, by pushing them through paper and pencil learning.
The more I pushed, the more fearfully motivated I was leading. When I let go, I saw the joy and hope and anticipation oozing simply effortless from my children.
Just like we were our kids first teachers, our children were born and made to be learners.
My oldest two, this past week, traveled around Europe together.
My daughter text me almost daily telling me of all the history she was seeing, showing me pictures of the Mona Lisa, The Eiffel Tower and explaining the somber present of a German concentration camp.
She saw things I have never seen, traveled to country after country with her husband for three months, learning everything she could. She is only twenty-four.
My son traveled with her as well.
His work (no coincidence) is writing and doing online marketing for a rather large company. He attended University of Washington, but knowns a thousand times more than I ever could just from his own burning passion to grow and keep educating himself.
Often my son is the one I get information from about economics, politics, societal leadings and historical references.
My children became launched into not just worldly success, but inward contentment and personal achievements…
Not because I was some great teacher, but because I eventually eased up, and let The Great Teacher lead whatever classes they took, whatever journey HE had waiting for them…
I am so glad The One who made them, knows and loved them far more than I ever could….
He sees their every step. And guides them even now, as I let go of fear, and make space and have trust in their innate, natural love for learning.
At the end of the day, He has got their futures firmly in His hands. I don’t need to control.
Blessings come when we let go and let Him be our kids ultimate teacher.
