Lost inside Alzheimers

I saw her today. My earthly angel. Ninety-eight.

A Saint.  Really. 

Hollow eyes.

Lost inside…

Alzheimer’s.

Retracting tears….

Of how life can rob the one’s most used.

Prayers of faith…I remember. 

Journals of verses.  Talks with God.  Quotes.  Notes.

A Bible well-worn.

Once, in a shack.  Alone. In Florida state.  No dishwasher. No housekeeper. No microwave.

Just wood floors…..And well-worn knees.  Well-worn knees at 93.

Oh, can I be…she.

The one who sent me notes of love.  Packages.  Encouragement.

The one who prayed every day.  In a dress. Morning in…morning out.

To Her most High. Her husband.

She…still a new bride.

Though eyes deep.  Far.  Wide. Almost jump inside the emptiness they hide.

Yet, I wonder….does she remember….distances of memories past.  Reminiscent of days in His presence.

Gazing blues.  Once sparkling.  We both knew and would always say.

“Our family sparkles.”

And I knew it meant…not because we are great…but because we have Jesus’ light!

And she gave all of her money away.  Once a smart businesswomen in the 1920’s.

Yet, she gave.

No children.  Cause to be bitter. But wasn’t.

She just gave…

No family near. A husband distant.  Only a career.

And she gave…

I remember in those gazing oceans deep.  That wrinkled face…. 

How she laughed full force.  Filled with life.  A woman of beauty and truth.

And I know…how she longs to see Jesus.

But yet, she sits there…

Trapped in a body that hinders her freedom.

Yet, I want to be like her…..

Though poor.  Barren.  Alone.  Strictly torn.

My giving, loving, auntie with those once sparkling blues….now dim….empty….distant….

Where are you?

I want to be like you. 

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22 Comments

  1. Jen…such beautiful words. I can feel your heart in every line. Thank you for sharing this part of your story with us, my friend. Praying that God reach down and wrap His arms around your aunt…and that she is overwhelmed with His familiar embrace of love…

  2. Alida – Thank you. She is so special to me.

    April – Thanks for following.

    Judy – Thanks. The music is Misty Edwards. She has such an amazing passion for the Lord. I am so glad you stopped by too.

    Shelley – Such gratitude for the prayers. Yes, that He would wrap His familiar arms around her and she would be overwhelmed by His recognizable love….once again.

    Bless each of you. ~ jen

  3. This is very touching Jen; I experienced the same bittersweet years with my lovely Aunt who was lost but somehow blessed in her detachment of everyday life. She fluttered around singing without a care in the world.

    Prayers that God keeps her safe in His loving arms. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Denise

  4. Shanda – Isn’t that the truth!

    Denise – That is so beautiful…to be singing without a care in the world. So nice to hear how you relate. And I so agree, at the same time…the detachment, a strange kind of blessing….

    Thank you two for your sweet comments. ~ jen

  5. I always leave your site with my heart so touched. There is no greater tribute to a person than to want to be “just like them.” How wonderful that she is remembered as a woman of beauty and truth.

  6. LaVonna – I am so with you…Cannot wait until there is no more pain and sorrow! Oh, what a glorious day!!
    So appreciate the visit & the kind words.

    Gen – Thank you for saying that you go away touched from my site. My prayer…that these are more than words…but heart-felt faith building remembrances of God…people…and the joy found in the hope of our Salvation!

    Appreciate both you both. ~ jen

  7. This poem was beautiful. Alzteimer’s runs in my stepmoms side of the family and I still remember my great grandma (step maternal) when she had it. It was toward the end of her life after she’d had it for a while. Thanks for sharing.

    My computer is down and I can’t access GFC from work so I’ve been following on FB/Twitter – hoping people follow me back too. =D

    We need to keep in touch! Family Literacy and You and Mymcbooks.wordpress.com will be hosting a Classics 4 Kids book event Sept 4-30th – we’d love to have you stop by and visit. Each week we will review a book and then give it away! =D

    Tina “The Book Lady”
    http://familyliteracyandyou.blogspot.com
    http://givingnsharing.blogspot.com

  8. Just beautiful. Thanks for sharing this. I watched my grandfather lose himself to Alzheimer’s in the years before people really understood the disease.

    I found you on the Lots of Lovin’ hop and I’m glad I did. I’m following you now.

  9. I have loved getting your daily posts through my email. Many mornings its the first thing I read and puts my day into perspective. Thank you for using this space to glorify the Lord and encourage others in their faith! I hope you have a great long weekend!

  10. Tina – Thanks for coming by & sharing you story.

    Courtney – Appreciate the follow.

    Tracy – What a wonderful thought…Thanks for that! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Des – Thanks for both the sympathies and the follow.

    Anita – That must have been hard. So glad to know you can relate.

    Heather – What beautiful words. Can’t tell you how thrilled I am that you see the Lord glorified in my writing! All praise be to Him!!

    Thank you all! ~ jen

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