Nepal, An Eagle, and Riding the Ferris Wheel of Life

I almost hit him with my car. He was standing in the road, on the right, doing….who knows what?

Like a let-loose bus, I turned the corner racing speedily.  Spotting him briefly, then slammed on my breaks.  As if given grace, stopping just before his six foot wing span and white, bald head glides directly across from where I am.

Up he stretches to the sky, this American Symbol, straight up into the trees beside the road, watching as I passed.

I couldn’t breath knowing something so regal and majestic, something so beloved and treasured in our land, almost went splat into my bumper because I was in a hurry.

p1121164526-2And some days can’t it be like we are on a ferris-wheel?  Some boarding, others departing…with no way of predicting whose turn it is.

Puppies born the same day we attend a funeral for a relatives in-law who dropped dead with a heart-attach without any warning.

Then we pray, and I see the add for kittens. Winding down the road the same day our puppies were born.

And why is it, life spins like a carnival ride, kittens born in the night without anyone expecting, Nepal’s earthquake killing thousands, and not one of us having the luck of the draw of guessing when it’s our time to go.

He sits on my lap the next day. The wee one, born first, who my heart fell in love with the moment I saw his face.  He looks like our mama, the boxer, doing everything she can to care for her babies…

But sometimes death isn’t in our hands, sometimes there is a cycle to life and leaving, rising and going, and entering this planet that not even the brightest among us can predict or calculate.  Still, seasons can weight us, though we are called to keep rising….

Because someone, somewhere needs our warm arms around them, our eyes calm and attentive, our ears to listen…to make sure they are breathing and can make it through the day.

My husband races to get milk. Our one day old puppy struggles for air.  I finally take him from his mama…in hopes to keep him alive.

I want to scream to the heavens, “Don’t let this one die”. I start bargaining, and pleading, start laying my hands on him and claiming life, because…

I know my Jesus…and I still believe….He can raise the dead to life.

But He fades despite my prayers.

And sometimes our best efforts aren’t enough to dictate this Ferris wheel turning.

And though we might be able to stop the sun from moving, like Hezekiah….we are not God. And every breath, is far from in our hands.

We don’t rule the Universe…only Jehovah does that.  And it can be silly, self-righteous, quite audacious to demand, our plans, when the wheel was meant to keep turning.

The puppy starts moving.  I rise thinking my prayers have healed him, that my bargaining with God might have worked.  But then, he throws his head back and takes one last, pain-staking gasp..and I stand in shock, knowing our new puppy is dead.

And sometimes we try to shake death, wanting Lazarus to rise, when His purposes are greater than all that we can see.  Sometimes our own little god in us rises…wanting to over-throw his plans and purposes…thinking, we know better than He.

But it turns, still.  Slowly.  I see it. And if we are going to live wise, we must trust our God, knowing He has woven a plan in it all…birthing, and removing each of us, at one time or another.

I find Him swooping across my path, in scripture. In fact, I almost run into Him….going a hundred miles an hour around the corners of my daily circumstances.

He is walking among-st them. They are chatting, and analyzing, calculating, and trying to figure it all out, “How could He have died?”  “He was supposed to be God!”, “I thought He was the chosen one…wasn’t He?”  

And I can guess that they were doubting the Sovereignty of God, questioning the integrity and authenticity of Jesus who said He would rebuild the temple in just three days, but instead bled upon a cross….seemingly weak, not strong.  Appearing defeated by death, instead of triumphant, ruling, and reigning as the master of this Ferris-Wheel.

But He walked among them, them not seeing….He wasn’t coming to save them. He already had.  He wasn’t “going” to do great things one day. But as of His resurrection, He already defeated death.

Still, caught up in their man-made chatter and human shortsightedness….their eyes were like us sometimes, too blind to see Him.

And I wonder if we too can get swallowed up by fear, trapped like a spider in a web of doubt when ancient towns are leveled out by the shaking of the ground.  When reports of thousands are found covered in ash…and the structures of this life all seem to fail.

Can’t we wonder if He has missed us, can’t we question if death might sting…when nothing can separate us from the love of Him who gave everything, dying, resurrecting, and living so we can be free?

And yet, it turns…and keeps turning.  This life we can’t stop, this world we seemed strapped in and can’t escape from…

And let us not forget that although we can’t swoop up into the heavens anytime we want, though we can’t stop thoseferris_wheel from leaving us, sudden deaths, puppies spirits rising even though we have prayed in faith against it….

We do have the power to soar.  We do have Jehovah’s Spirit inside us that lives although…tragedy occurs.  Our bodies tied tight to this spinning morn. While He who is in us….lives!  And even the door of death has no power to keep us from our Lord, no hardship, no sting, can hinder us from the hope and victory He has given to those who call Him, Lord.

He parts into the heaven.  Arms open.  Calling His disciples to be witnesses to Judea, Samaria, and all the ends of the earth.  While, the Lord open’s minds, removes scales, and is revealed who He is through this sacred breaking of bread….

This journey of dividing that multiplies absolutely everything. This faith walk, trusting more and more The One who ordains all of it…

Even the Ferris Wheel that turns.

Break us Lord today.  Torn apart, passed out. Might we be nourishment for the hungry mouths around us.  And might we slow down, to see, and hear, and trust…you are walking with us.  Every day, every hour, your are near, your Spirit, resurrected power in us.  

Lord, give us eyes to see…

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6 Comments

  1. Oh, YES, Jen, we can question all of these things. That surely does not mean we will get an answer that we want but we can question. As you write, you move through the questions and the cares and into the surety of Jesus, our Risen Savior only to truly know that He knows all and has the answers for us when we meet Him in Heaven.
    We were given emotion and reasoning ability so the questions and the sorrow and the joy come because of who and what He made us. I have these same kinds of questions daily but there seems to be a stillness and maybe some peace when I sit before Him long enough.
    Long enough…
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

  2. Happiness and despair all in one day…sometimes it doesn’t make any sense. But as you say, He is walking with us always. It’s not out job to understand, but to live with faith and trust…this is not always easy! By the way, I love the picture of Seattle. I lived there for 5 years and am visiting right now! 🙂

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