When Perfectionism Needs a Funeral

I spit it out, like a broken gumball dispenser.  One word. Then another.  Then another.  It’s the one person, I struggle being discrete with, the one…after all this time…I still want to impress.

And why do we clothe ourselves with fancy words and self-righteousness, when we feel most insecure, when we ache to impress those in the world…more than we want to impress God?

Yes, it’s true, I am a recovering perfectionist.  Like Rose from the Titanic, I have sat upright, sipped my tea, and worked hard at being “good”, “acceptable”, a worldly demonstration of self-righteousness.

But truth is…I am a mess.  And if we are honest, we all are….really.

And this year, isn’t it time, perfectionism gets crucified?  All pomp, and hope of being the all encompassing equivalent of a “good” person…finally has a funeral?

For aren’t we all simply sinners, saved alone by grace?  And like Paul, I confess….I am and have come from the worst of places.

And after all, who is righteous among us?  Scripture tells us….“no, not one”.

I blow another bubble to the one I hold so high.  She sits on the phone, and I know she gets this futile, desperate attempt to please her…this desperate pleading, longing pathetically for approval. Never pretty. Only handicapping relationships.

Then, I hang up the phone. letting scripture and commentary teach me things, I am not necessary excited to know…

I breathe, yet keep reading, because isn’t it time, perfectionism, and impressing, and self-protection dies and gets buried in us all this season?

Then, I turn from scripture, dividing bone and marrow, popping the bubble of self-inflation?  I mean, who ever longs to see the crucifixion of our own carnal heart?

But I soon learn, we can never run from God.  We can’t turn the page and hope He doesn’t find us.  I open again randomly and find, yes He is even there too…

And I am thankful, God loves us too much to leave us.  He wants our sanctification, only because He seeks greater intimacy with us. And selfishness and God can never co-exist. He is jealous, and seeks all our affirmation and our worship….

And don’t perfectionist get most shaken by disappointments, when no man, or hope, or man-made dream could ever complete us?

Why is it, the only road to wholeness is when we can grasp, see, and acknowledge our humble, needy state of brokenness?

I challenge you today friend, will join me?

• Let’s let go of expectations. 
• Let’s grab grace as our salvation, and let go of empty works, and the expectations from people who will eventually disappoint us. 
• Let’s trust The One who can heal us.  
• Let’s walk to the front of this ship, feeling the air and wind and life found in seeing the ocean of His goodness out in front of us.

For there is more…can’t you feel it?  More than fancy tables, and sitting straight, and impressing people that we don’t even like.  Let’s let go, and live lives unafraid?  Fearlessly racing to the death of our perfectionism…

For maybe just then, we will see the resurrection.  Our failures and deficits coming alive in Christ, empowering us like Paul says…

Can anyone else relate?  You too needing the taste of the freedom found in crucifying perfectionism and the expectations of accolades from “men”?