I wind around her in the grocery store. You know. Back and forth, back and forth…that pattern we make as we go through the same old grocery store. Up and down the isles.
She turns down each isle, the same as I do…except she is going in the opposite direction.
Her face thin. Her stature long. There is a son who stands tall, over her shoulder. I think nothing of it. I don’t recognize her. She looks stoic, conservative, much too reserved for me to start talking to this stranger. Unlike so many others I meet.
I pretend not to see her. Passing by….again.
Nearing the end, I come to the dairy. Where my seven year old remarks, “Mom, it’s cold here.” She wraps her arms around herself and gives a dramatic shiver.
That’s when I look upon her face once more. That lady, coming toward me down the isle. This time, something looks familiar. As if I have seen her before. This time….
I gasp, stand back a little, and inspect her so much so, it almost gets uncomfortable. “No….it couldn’t be?”
Last I heard she had a huge diamond on her finger and was leaving the state to go marry someone wealthy….someone who came from a highly respectable family.
She was getting everything she ever dreamed about….A well-off husband that had a plantation and a factory. Someone well respected in the community she had come from.
While, I was still partying….living in the duplex in the city where I had to jump through the window to get in, because I lost the key, and didn’t want to call the landlord. She just seemed so mean.
And over the years…I think about all those I have run from. The stoic. The landlord. Those that have made me feel uncomfortable.
And once we start running, we can build momentum….then it’s that much more difficult to stop.
How my whole life once was about running. Running from people. Running to the city. Running where no one could find me…..not even God. Because yes, I was afraid of Him too….
But God sees. Coram deo. He sees through the city lights, into the dark corners of our lives. And he found me there, in that duplex a few blocks from where prostitutes lived. Where people got shot. Where ambulances sirened up my block each night.
I say her name there in the freezing section of the store. The section I usually try to quickly escape from.
She stops. Answers. Her face turns up. I smile. She stares me dead in the eyes and says my name too.
“It’s so good to see you.” She replies. “Fifteen years has been a long time.” I bounce like Tiger. Move my hands in circles as I talk. She stands frozen. Frozen like a statue in the dairy isle.
Her words sound pleasant, but there is no smile. No hug. No reaching. No movement. Who was this person I once knew?
It’s funny how time can change you. How time will test whatever is in you. While at the other end of it all….We become whatever it is we are running to.
She had gotten a divorce. Oh, there is part of her sorrow. She was working hard. Well, that explains the tired look. She had moved near to where I was now living. Both of us a half an hour from where we once lived. What are the chances?
We text. Meet face to face. Do coffee. My heart aches. And leaps. Is hurt. Disillusioned. So many feelings….
This friend was the one that lived, loved, ran to….any situation. She was the one willing to go out any time day or night. The one I danced wildly with. The one that had joy….such a joy….I would love being with her. She was the one I talked hours into the night with…about everything.
And now, here she was looking like life had defeated her….while I wanted to run up and hug her and talk about Jesus….about the freedom, and joys, and the blessings I had found.
Yet, her stature seemed to shout, “Stop…don’t even think about approaching me”.
Oh how life changes us.
Bowing my head. I pray for my friend. Remembering how God once breathed, Ruach Elohim…..the breathe of life into me. These dry bones. This running one too….so long ago.
And how, even after a lifetime of disappointment, rejection, running, disillusionment, God can breathe life into her…into you, into anyone, if they’ll let Him! There is no one too lost, too dead, too hidden….that God can’t find them and restore them to life again.
If that weren’t true….I would be the one, content in frozen isles….
And still running.
11 Comments
Jen, this picture of running to Someone…and becoming like Him. Wow, what a metaphor. So thankful God is shining through you, choosing NOT to be ‘standing there frozen in the aisle.’
What a gift you are to your friend.
Your testimony of God’s presence and guidance in your life is beautiful. May your friend’s heart soften and open to God’s healing love.
Hi Jen! What a beautifully told story, with an unexpected ending. Wow. You wrote that so well.
Back again for your fun link-up party. Thanks for hosting today!
Peace in Christ,
Ceil
Jen, I was really touched by this story. Life is a funny thing (not funny HA HA!) We each move on our own pathways, and sometimes when we cross the path of someone we once knew, we see that everything has changed. In your case, it sounds like it was the love of Jesus that changed everything for you. I will pray that the Lord will do the same for your friend.
GOD BLESS!
Heartbreaking Jen; what a blessing that you reached out to comfort and love. Many of us have learned (often the hard way!) that God can build out of the most shattered heart a thing of beauty, joy, and contentment if we will only let Him do it. So we must let go! We must open our hands and give away what we cannot fix and we cannot change, and give Him the broken pieces, the faded dreams, the disappointed hopes.
Blessings and prayers for your friend! That’s what being UNITED is really about!
Denise
Hi Jen, as I read your post one statement jumped out at me “we become what we run to” I had to reread because at first my mind went ahead of me and said …”what we run FROM” I love what you say more. If we run to Christ, we become more like Him. And I pray too for your friend. I do not believe in coincidences. You met in that cold aisle for a reason. You are planting seeds. God bless my friend. Great to be absorbing your words here.
Tracy
Oh, Jen, this is beautiful and leaves me with a heart-ache all at the same time. Beautiful, because you shine with the love of a woman who has RUN TO JESUS… heartache- because your friend hasn’t landed in his arms yet. This post prompts me to pray for a friend from long ago. Thank you.
Jen – It is amazing the encounters we can have in a grocery store. I have often been amazed. May God keep our eyes open as who knows what words of encouragement we may speak to a friend. Thank you so much for sharing this today!
Blessings,
Joanne
Jody – Oh believe me..there are still areas of my life, I tend to want to freeze in. But, it is those areas His grace is most abundant! We must chat soon! So much to share!
Carol – Thanks for your prayers!
Ceil – Always LOVE having you here, my friend!
Sharon – I so agree. It is funny how God changes us in ways we may not even see it at the time! And yes, praying His never failing, unconditional, never-ending love continues to change me… Love & blessings!
Denise – “Give away what we cannot fix”…such powerful words! Amen, friend!
Tracy – I am with you! I don’t believe in coincidences either. Every moment in time is orchestrated by Him…ever gift, every friendship, even the hard things He can use for His glory!
Alicia – So glad this post has challenged you to take action! Praying – the best action we can do! Praying with you for your friend today!
Joanne – Praying for continued “grocery-encounters” for both of us today, my friend! 🙂 Bless you!
My heart just grieves for this woman, who used to have joy – who wasn’t afraid of what was in front of her. It makes me wonder if the Mother of the Prodigal was ever in a grocery aisle situation, her head down, her heart frozen over loss – and rejection – because of her “failure” – so many women have been condemned – so many women need hugs in those cold aisles:) You are so right,though – we become what we run to – how do I make my sons see that without sounding judgemental?
Blue cottom – Oh my heart goes out to you. I think that’s the hard part for all of us…to love without condemnation…to draw others out of those frozen isles…remembering how Christ did that for us. Hugs.