Grief makes you hide.
Anyone who has experienced a sudden loss, a slow painful death; the hands of the enemy ripping what you were holding, straight from your chest…
Knows this to be true.
The ocean of pain and loss, guilt and regret gnaw at you, until the undercurrent of grief grabs at you and pulls you from your feet.
If you have experienced grief, you know the thrashing against the rocks, the unintentional swallowing of salty regret from the betrayal of a life that you wanted to go one way…
Yet, it went another.
Maybe you have forgotten where oxygen comes from?
Down is up and up is down, as you tumble around the seashore of loss, feeling your heart bleeding from the barnacles of remembering.
You bargain with God to stop the current, slow the crashing waves, or get you out of the ocean all together, in hopes to grasp tight to denial.
But, nothing can stop this ocean, because…
Like sea glass in the tumbling of your soul; the splashing, grinding and washing, are making you more like Christ.
Still, I have often heard:
- “The disciples were hiding in grief” after Jesus death and before the day of Pentecost.
- “They were sad”, one online Catholic priest tried clarifying. “They hid, scared in a small little room”, he elaborated.
- A Reddit user shared, “the disciples were filled with guilt, so they hid, terrified”.
And while I can relate & understand this type of grief, this kind of sorrow, this kind of regret and my guess is, you can too…
I opened Scripture this morning.
The Book of Luke talks about that time frame between Jesus return and heavenly ascension, and the day of Pentecost, when His Spirit came.
I had always been told…I mean, I cannot even count how many times I have heard preachers/pastors of so-called authority share…
“Jesus ascended and the disciples went back into the upper room & just hid scared, for nine days, until the day of Pentecost.” But that is not true!
- The disciples experienced the living, breathing, resurrected Jesus.
- He descended in the room and ate with them.
- He let them touch His physical wounds.
- And He confirmed, he was not there in Spirit, but in the flesh!
- Jesus silenced Thomas’ doubts and walked and appeared to many.
So, why this message? This lie, that after Jesus ascended, after they encountered Jesus in the flesh, meeting them in their living space…they felt sorrow, fear or grief?
Scripture tells us otherwise.
In John 20, the Bible tells us, “…the disciples were [meeting] behind barred doors for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them, and said, “Peace to you.”
Yes, they locked themselves in. They were afraid. They hid at the thought of what just happened to Jesus.
But, then He appeared.
- He appeared to Mary Magdalene on Resurrection Sunday, in John 20:11-18.
- He appeared to the other Mary, as well as group of women, in Matthew 28:1, Mark 16:1, & Luke 24:10.
- He appeared to Simon Peter in Luke 24:34, also on Resurrection Sunday.
- He appeared to Cleopas and his companion on the road to Emmaus, in Luke 24:13-35.
- He appeared to the eleven disciples, minus Thomas, in John 20:19-25.
- He appeared to to the eleven discipled including Thomas, in John 26-29.
Over the following few weeks…
- Jesus appeared to seven disciples at the sea of Tiberias, in John 21:1-23.
- Jesus appeared to the disciples and a large gathering of followers at the mountain of Galilee, in Matthew 28:16-17 & 1 Corinthians 15:6.
- Jesus appeared to James, in 1 Corinthians 15:7.
Forty days later, Jesus appeared to the disciples…
- He led his disciples to the Mount of Olives, where he commissioned them, giving them what we know to be the Great Commission, before ascending into heaven, in Luke 24:49-52 & Acts 1:3-11.
This is where the lie started, that after Jesus ascension, the disciples shrunk back into the four walls of the Upper Room, hiding out in fear.
I have been told they just did nothing but prayed and waited for the Holy Spirit.
And while Scripture says in Acts 1:14, “All of these with their minds in full agreement devoted themselves to steadfastly to prayer [waiting together] with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus and with His brothers”.
It also says in John 20:21, that Jesus commanded…
“I am SENDING you. And having said this, He breathed on them and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit.'” A few verses earlier, when Jesus showed His disciples His hands and feet…
John 20:20 says, “They were FILLED WITH JOY (delight, exultation, ecstasy, rapture). That doesn’t sound like fear to me. Does it to you?
When Jesus ascended to heaven on the Mount of Olives, Luke 24:51-53 tells us…
“They worshipping Him, went back to Jerusalem with GREAT JOY.”
Luke also adds:
“They were CONTINUALLY in the temple, CELEBRATING with PRAISES and blessing and extolling God.”
One moment the disciples were grieving, weak, down trot, lost and disillusioned….But, once Jesus revealed Himself to His disciples, they were never the same again!
They were not downcast, sorrowful and hidden inside four walls out of fear, after they met the resurrected Jesus face to face… They were PREACHING! Testifying! Celebrating! And filled with GREAT JOY!
Yes, they stayed/resided together in the Upper Room. Scripture also tells us that they gathered and prayed there. But it does not say they hid behind four walls, like cowards, until the day of Pentecost.
They were continually in the temple, celebrating with praise & extolling God, Luke tells us.
And I wonder:
- Has the church continued this narrative, that the disciples hid until Pentecost, afraid, because it’s easier for our carnal minds to embrace this narrative?
- Does this exclusive collective somehow benefit preachers?
- Does an isolated fear ridden story reinforce a club-like, us vs them mentality?
- Might this narrative keep good church people hidden, while the lost remain “forsaken” OUTSIDE the four walls of the church?
I mean, get this, Jesus Disciples gave praise and exuded joy in the temple after Jesus ascension, in the face of the very Pharisees that murdered their Savior, Jesus.
Have we gotten to that place where we can celebrate in the face of persecution and dance on the grave of evil? Can we look into the eyes of those people who have taken away our world….and just laugh?
- The disciples went boldly into Jerusalem.
- They didn’t cower, once they came face to face with the Resurrected King.
- They walked in the same Resurrection Power that rose Jesus from the grave.
And I wonder…
- Could one sign be, that His Church are true followers of Jesus, is when they live UNAFRAID?
- Might one fruit of true discipleship be that we walk outside the walls of our safe refuge, and straight into the arena, where darkness tried to intimidate us?
- Shouldn’t our testimony be, that we are so free, we can look evil in the eyes and declare Jesus has ultimate authority?
The JOY of coming face to face with Jesus cannot be squashed by hard experiences. It cannot be smothered by fear.
So, how about if we stop teaching in our pulpits, the lie that the disciples were a bunch of cowards? How about if we read the entirety of Scripture, in context?
How about if we live as if Jesus is resurrected…because He is!
Let’s come out from hiding! Shake off a spirit of grieving! And live, praising the one who conquered death, and defeated the grave!
We are not called to live in fear! Our King has overcome!
We all love the fire of Pentecost and perhaps even wait for the power before doing something good in the world…
But what if we solely seek the face of Jesus?
Grief will be swallowed up by joy, loss will be conquered by the praises of His Name…
And by His goodness and grace, we will never, ever be the same again.
