Refresh. Just One Light

The child with a swollen head. Just one light.

The fuzzy-backed baby screamer. Just one light.

The little girl who bit me, scratched her thigh with fingernails, tried to jump out of my moving vehicle. Just one light.

The beautiful boy whose gone. Just one light.

This world of fostering is like running into a forrest, chasing a squirrel, grabbing the wind beneath your fingernails, racing on a hampster wheel.

The rewards aren’t measurable, trials sometimes unbearable, an un-touched sky and life like unexpected bungy jumping.

Hard. Uncertain. Wild. Emotional.

We all shared the same hotel, without even realizing it. People come from the midwest, Hawaii, too many states to count…

Because thirsty camels are known to travel great distances for water.

Love drips from beams, saturates the rugs, radiates from the faces of greeters, the moment we entered Overlake…

Like a gallon of water poured in empty wells.

Smiles meet, tattered tender souls. The wounded march in on faith and a hope that their story isn’t foreign.

Might someone, somewhere connect and breathe life into the echoing pit, fill their panging achiness…

With hope, and faith and fearlessness?

And that is what it was…Big gulps of life. Individuals, warriors, marching off the field, for a short, two-day respite from the weary world we had been facing.

Water of life, mana for our journey. The Bread of Life feeding us in both truth and spirituality. His presence greeting us, calling us to quiet places that have shouted for far too long.

Ann Voskamp took the stage. Her cross-pointing hand reminded us it’s Him we work for. Broken things, He alone makes beautiful.

A dad of eight dissects our hearts with humor; healing us, lightening our load, calling us to the whole, miracle-working power of God.

Two-thousand fill an auditorium. Two-thousand foster and adoptive parents, or to-be parents. Veteran’s standing alongside newcomers. Some once fostering hundreds…

Others with just one infant, clinging to their hearts.

Still we all gravitate towards a world where our “one little light” stopped becoming lost, or slim, or forgotten any longer.

A world where strangers become brothers and sisters over conversations like, “Your child has eating issues and ragges for three hours?”…“Mine too.”

It’s a world where black and white become secondary to education and training. A thread of compassion weaves itself through us, more vital than age or nationality, histories, or petty differences.

We are all one here. No masks. No judgements. No shields. All dulled swords, put away.

We walk in, banging on the same drum…the drum of faith that fights in us, “Keep going. Keep going.”…Even when feces gets smeared, kids rage, children from hard places can make situations unbearable.

Because it’s His heartbeat in each of us who drives us to venture onto the battlefield, whether we know it or not.

The very pulse of a loving God that has imparted in all of us this call to care for children; the weak, vulnerable, or parentless…

Those the world might despise as small.

Some have flown across the world to China or Africa; once, twice…or over and over again…to retrieve their child.

Others get grinded through a system that crucifies any sense of pride, pressing them closer to humility, a bruised and broken Christ.

The stories are heartbreaking. Residential treatment. Kids threatening to kill parents. Depression. Health conditions. Parents loving kids for years, only to have them abruptly taken.

Foster and adoption. A battlefield, where none of us can make it through without scars visible to others.

Heroes leap in front of danger, throw themselves into the middle of ragging affiction to protect, defend, and advocate for each and every, “light” in their care.

Some families have been doing this for years. Two days in, the stiff bodied soldiers, melt, relax, start healing…

I can see it in their faces; calmer, a more peaceful countenances, as I walk silently through the halls.

Husband and wife hold hands again. Blank stares turn into smiles, eye contact, warm affection, laughs with strangers who quickly become good friends.

Tables are set up to educate and inform. Jesus uses learning to equip ready-made soldiers to mend, stand, and walk back out into battle.

Hope rises as we prepare to  go back out into this journey, facing the bloodied mess of ADHD, ODD, or bucketloads of diagnosis, therapies, and treaments.

Because who knows…maybe just one more light awaits. And this place is only a respite, two days of refreshments.

Yet, we can hear His heart calling each of us to care for “just one more” little light.

“Just one light” in an orphanage. “One little light” lingering in the foster system. “One more light” of a vulnerable child chases us in our dreams…

Each person needs equipping to be His hands and feet. And this journey as foster/adoptive parents is so much easier where worship rings, laughter bursts, and Jesus is the center…

Together, we stand, united, now in whole one-hood.

Uncracked light-sticks sit in the bottom of a barrel. Frozen. Dark. Untouched. Unreached for.

My mind starts reeling with questions.

A smiling greeter says, “Pick one up for every child whose ever been in your care.” I think he is kidding. Nearly two dozen? Really?

I freeze. Feel greedy. Am weighed down with insignificant. Then, grab two handfuls of lights.

Not “just one” anymore.

I look at each of them, remembering the faces of children who have been in my care.

The blonde infant, the older girl, the little boy who slapped his mom when she picked him up from our home. So many kids. So many “little lights”.

I try to remember each face, holding those sticks as I look for a seat.

Two thousand of us grab “just one light”, relaxed after two days here. We flood the sanctuary and sit….Calm. Relaxed. Healed.

Some hold armfuls of lights, others hold “just one light” representing a child they know God has waiting for them.

All the little lights representing sweet children, children in care, children found and reached for, tended and labored for…

Children He tells us, “Every time you give a child a drink of water it is as if you are giving it to me.”

And if fostering or adopting seemed lonely or distant before….If the forrest was too thick, the weight of the battle too weary or long…

This sancuary shouts as each light is cracked, the sky dark, and once heavy arms now rise… stronger….holding up their lights reprenting a child.

I stop, look around at the multitude of lives that have been changed by this room.

The war still waits for us outside, but lights shine bright, thousands upon thousands of children reprented, reminding us…One plus one makes many.

And many is a change to nations.

Together. Stronger. Brighter. Wider. More light. Refreshed. Re-nourished by His grace, love, and mercy.

They share…

Broken things are mended by gold. And beauty comes when those broken places inside of us are covered by His love.

We all walk away mended. Each takes our “one little light”, filtering through a parade of trumpets and people shouting. Each of us reprenting…

The sacrifice, surrender. Battle-scars worn boldly after loving each light in our care.

Still, as I leave there, it isn’t just the lights we hold as we parade back to the battlefield…

It was the uncracked sticks that sat there….in the bottom of the barrel. It was them, I couldn’t stop thinking about.

Children, untouched. Lives, forgotten, unreached. Orphans, abandoned, unseen, unhelped, unreached…

So many kids, still…without families.

Yes, I was ready to walk out those doors; passion rising, tenacity, wild and rising fiercer than I’ve ever known before.

Children that should not be orphaned. Kids deserving moms and dads. Lives needing light, not darkened, left alone or uncracked.

“Who will rise up and fight for these children?” I question under my breathe. “Who will stretch out and give their life to re-awaken even one light? Who will love them? When will their light ever be seen?”

Aren’t the least of these, greatest in His Kingdom?

We return to the battlefield, stronger than before. We have come, healed, trusted, learned…And now I know…

What we do, does more than touch one light. What we do, makes darkness flee. There is power in clinging together and believing for….

Just one light.

For we serve Jesus. And He is the light of the world.

“When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” ~ John 8:12

If you want to join us next year, Refresh is a conference for foster and adoptive parents. They equip, train, encourage, and bring hope to those who are committed to the battlefield.

For more infromation, please click here or in Facebook here.