I Lied when I said I would NEVER take an older foster child

That was one thing I said I would never do.  Yes, I would stretch myself, open my home, care for the infant like God wanted me to….

But I said it…“I will never have an older foster child.”

There can be attachment issues. Past histories of abuse. So much baggage that I questioned His power through me….

To be able to do such a task.

And why is it….the “never” is often somehow exactly what God seems to call us to?

Why is it we draw the lines….but yet, he expands our boundaries, skilled, capabilities, our thoughts…..of His goodness…..


Simply by a yes?

And now, here I sit. Listening to her laughter……and it is as if the Balm of Gilead…..redeeming her youth.

This child….God called me to.

And yesterday, we had a meeting. Went to church three times in three different buildings…..

The last one continued. Hours. Unending.  It was already ten o’clock at night.  Yet, the sweet presence of The Savior filled the room.

But it was late.  So, I looked into those brown eyes…..and asked….

“Do you want to leave?  It’s up to you?”

And with a peace that surpassed my understanding….she looks me in my eyes….and states, “No, I want to stay in this place forever”.

And I knew…..she knew……where His presence was.  She had tasted the dark and was dwelling in the fullness of His Love…..

And why.  Us grey.  Often teeter on the “in-between”?

Why do we get our dose of Jesus on Sundays….and somehow live without him fine the rest of the days of the week?

Why is it the scared hands and wiped back of an 11 year child, can see the Savior so clearly?  Is it because she can identify so easily……with The One baring those very same scars…..the scars of Jesus?

Or is it because she has faced her own cross of redemption already?  She has already been to Calvary?  And will never look back?  So hungry.  So ready to be resurrected.

While we are still far away…..trying to pick up our fallen world like broken glass….before going to our cross……..

Setting our face to our own personal Jerusalem?

And I have been all over the world. Seen the glory of the Lord on the highest hills.  Been in His presence and was flooded with the truth of His Word long since childhood…..

But, why is it I see Jesus most clearly in our 11 year old little girl…...

Doing the one thing that I told myself that I would never do?

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“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. !  Isaiah 55:8

Linking with Women Living Well