You are the G.I.F.T. And UNITE Linky

I sit row six from the front. Church rumbles as the pastor announces.  Instead of asking for money…he is giving away $10,000 to the congregation.

This pastor is young, but wise beyond his years. He has served overseas and has a heart for those outside the four walls of the church.  That’s why we are there.

And I am sure he has learned, knows…anything focused inward will eventually explode.  And that includes people.

I grab an envelope, along with everyone else there, sitting comfortably.  There is random amounts of money in each.  Our job is two-fold….

  1. Listen to the Holy Spirit.
  2. Don’t keep it, but give the money away as God leads us.

Tears shed at the awesome responsibility entrusted to us. I hold it tight in the pages
of His word.  Pray about it…while conjuring up my own random thoughts of what I would do with it.

I want to do something big, grandiose.  We had multiplied money effortlessly for other events and I knew we could raise enough to build an orphanage in Dominican Republic, buy a well, or make a huge impact in someone’s life by paying off their bills.

But, I don’t hear God’s voice.  And I struggle with the tension of how it can be easier to jump, leap, dive out of the passions of our own will…or good intentions.  When we should wait, and keep waiting until God speaks.

For moving without God’s instruction…can actually be an act of  disobedience.

So, I wait for that still small voice.  I waited for His very specific direction.

A few weeks later, I need a car seat for a special needs foster daughter we are getting. Two days before coming, I find an add: Car seat.  Cheap.  Close to our house.  I call.  She answers.  I feel God’s tug…“This is the one”.  Then drive to get it.

A lady answers with an infant straddling her mama’s hips. A school age boy follows closely behind.

“You are such a blessing.”  I start in after seeing the car seat. “We get a child in less than forty eight hours and I am glad to be getting this just in the nick of time.”

“Do you believe in God?” She says right off, almost awkwardly.  The “blessing” word?  Did it catch her?  Or was it God…leading our hearts to UNITE?

“Yes”, I respond far too enthusiastically for my normally more mellow personality, “Absolutely! I have been saved by the Lord Jesus Christ.” Bouncing with enthusiasm.

She lights up.  “He saved me too. I would not be here if it were not for Him.”  Her eyes sad, her arms heavy…with the child she is carrying…and much more.

I want to reach out to hug her.  Tell her of the love of God that is with her no matter where she is at.  But before I can, she keeps going…

“I am all alone.”  Her heart opens. “Their dad walked out on us and we haven’t seen him since.”  The lawn is long.  The regular maintenance on a house a dad would do…is missing.

He has left so much more than his kids.

She looks down.  “I am sorry” is all I say. Letting the silence fill this moment. Praying where no one can hear me.

“But God has been with me.  And I am here because of him.  I could never do all this without him.”  She looks down at the fatherless boy, the long lawn, the house, the baby crying out for more of her time…more of anything she might have left over.

“He is faithful”, I profess with my sister who I now feel a strong bond with.  “He is faithful!”  I let my silence linger…and the quiet prayers continue.

She shares further.  “Plus, my daycare kicked me out and I only have a week to find someplace for my kids.”  They want full-time children, but mine are only part time. I can feel the fear rise and encourage her that if I hear of a place accepting kids, I will contact her.  I have her number.

Her heart continues. “I have looked for a church around here.  Been to three.  But…”

She need not say more.  I am an expert at learning that grace can be hard to find behind the four walls of a church.  Especially in churches imploding with their own inward focus.

After all was the church ever intended to be a social club, a place of comfort to ease the conscious of those being of the world and in it?

Or wasn’t the church a place for desperate people…the needy…for the broken who come empty to His banqueting table?  Those most desperate and needy?

And sadly, I have experienced, that when we are full with ourselves…sometimes what God offers will never be satisfying.

But a hungry soul looking for scraps will always be open to receive food from whatever God has. For truth be told….sometimes being hungry is not a curse…but a blessing given from God himself. 

We talk on.  She used to work for a doctor that defends parents who abused their kids…like the one who hurt the little girl that was coming.  “I quit.” She says.  “My conscious wouldn’t let me work somewhere that defended families who abused little children.”

I want to hug her again.  But instead smile big, “I feel like you are my sister and I thank God that He led us here.  He lead me here to get this car seat. Bless you, Bless you.”  

She doesn’t attend church, but her heart is bigger than most I have met, her discernment much keener than those who chase after spiritual things. Her love greater than many content, hiding in buildings just to ease their conscious.

Then eventually I leave, backing out slowly between the fence of my convictions and the grass growing because the flesh of man failed to lead him to where he was needed.

I drive around the corner.  Then remember the hundred, sitting idly in my purse.  I had taken it, planning to use it to buy a cute red cabinet for my house.  It was on sale.  But I didn’t need it.  It had no purpose.  Its goal was just to sit vain-fully. Looking cute so other could see it.

And yet, how often do we do the same?  Sit idly against walls, contently planting ourselves, like ornaments, in the seat seemingly reserved with our name on it.  When we were meant to give ourselves away.

Just then, the lady I just drove away from comes to mind.  A weight falls on me…As I see the own grass of my soul needing to be cut down…needing to reach, to grip, to see as God sees.  To love, like He did…outside of the four walls of our own ideas and agendas.

It is then, I stop right in the middle of the road.  I sit there for far too long, hoping nobody plows into me.  But I cannot move.  I am paralyzed in the grip of His presence.

“Give it away” He whispers.  And a knowing settles on me where there is no question it is Him speaking.  I have no choice.  To not give it would be disobedience.

“But, I’ll look weird to go back. What will she think?”  Questions wriggle through my mind seconds after He speaks to my soul.

But it is then, I choose His wisdom…not mine. And turn around.

Driving ahead thinking about…

  • How God had planned that money to be in my purse then.  How it was not the churches money…but how it was the exact amount of what I had planned to give away, all along. 
  • How He ordained this meeting.  I knew it.  And suddenly I felt silly…all my plans….my great philosophies of how I wanted to go BIG, how I wanted to multiply what the church had given.  Such futility in my own thinking.

For sometimes big, grandiose, multiplied is not what He asks from us.  Sometimes He just wants us to see “That One”.  Know and hear and see the need of The One next to us, the one He connects us with, the one out in front of us that we might have missed…if we are trying to reach for the big vision….instead of giving to the small, open, reaching, needy hand in front of us.

I knock. Confused, she reaches out, open palms in front of her.  I explain the situation.  I explain how this is not from me, or necessarily my church…but that this money is from God.  And how I want her to know…God sees, God cares, God knows her need….even before she asks.  

Her eyes fill with tears.  Mine are already flooded.  We both sit there speechless, and we hug.  Now more than friends. But somehow, unspoken eternal siblings.

“It will be well spent.  Thank you.”  She chokes out the words.  Her little boy tugs at her shirt, the baby still wrapped in her arms.

And I glory in the fact that it is not the receiving…but the giving that is the heart of God. Giving, often the closest act we can do that resembles the love of the Father.

The weight I had felt in the car now lifts.  A peace surpasses the understanding of what I just did.  And I knew I gave my one gift away well.

Then, I think about that red cabinet…and how silly it seems now.  Now, in light of the color of grace.  How His blood shed down not just so we could receive….but so that we could give away His grace to a world trapped, looking, seeking a refuge for their aching hearts.  Seeking a Father for the Fatherless and a church where they can feel safe, loved, cared for…fed.

And it seems we have a choice.  To sit vain-fully like the red cabinet my flesh desired to have, filling the empty spaces in the corners of our hearts.  Or we can give the greatest gift of all…..the gift of you, the gift of me, the gift of love, the gift of His abundance….

To a whole world waiting.  A world looking.  A world needing an earthly expression…

Of Jesus.

How can you Give It Forward Today?

(Linking with JenTracyEmily)

UNITE Link Party
It is time to UNITE.  UNITE is for you to connect, reach out, and meet new people.  It is a place where all are welcome!  
UNITE is not some club or place where only certain ones are welcome!  
YOU ARE UNITE!
So come and join us!
If you can, follow others, comment, and connect with us at TWITTER and FACEBOOK.
Ready?  Link below….

Subscribed yet? Join here! Add e-mail below! (No fees & Spam-free)

* indicates required

You may also like:

25 Comments

  1. We use to go to a church that had a reverse offering like your envelope one. We were suppose to take an envelope and invest it in something. Then there was a harvest Sunday months later and we could put the surplus or growth in the plate. I love that you invested in a stranger and how God orchestrated just the right carseat so you would meet. What a powerful story.

  2. Oh Jen. How you paint a picture with your words. This post, and the whole situation, just had me in tears. God is so good – and His *coincidences* never cease to bless all of us.

    We are so privileged to be His hands and feet in the world. The Giver of Gifts is precious in that He sometimes lets us deliver them.

    GOD BLESS!

    1. Sharon – So agreed! What a humbling honor…to be His hands and feet! And to see Him move…His “coincidences”..a continual faith building experience, indeed.

  3. Giving the gift is not about the money but about our God and the glory that is due to Him! How powerful and wonderful this is! Praise Him!
    I just read Ann’s post of giving it forward and will be looking at all the opportunities He gives me in these next days, weeks, months!
    Hallelujah! It is exciting to think about and then to act as we listen and hear.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

  4. Hi Jen! I was completely rooting for you to help, and you did! What a beautiful example of a God Appointment, and you did not let him down.

    That’s the kind of experience that you’ll never forget your whole life. Thank you for sharing it ๐Ÿ™‚

    Peace in Christ,
    Ceil

  5. This story has really touched me. After close to 3 years without a full income coming into our family I was often on the receiving end of blessings like the one you gave this lady. Now that we have two incomes coming back into our family I have been too conscious of wanting delightful red cabinets rather than seeing the blessing in giving back to others and paying it forward. Thank you. I can’t promise to change immediately but I’m going to ask God to soften my heart to see the needs around me.

  6. Jen – Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post. Last week I felt the Lord compelling me to do something which would in essence be “a giving forward”. And of course, I have been questioning myself. Reading your post made confirmed exactly what I need to do. And I will be doing it! This was a beautiful post!
    Blessings,
    Joanne

  7. Dear Jen — your beautiful and poignant post brought tears to my eyes for I have been there…where she is now… at the door of life, with empty hands and a heart filled with pain eclipsed only by His great love for me. My youngest of three sons was one when their dad walked out and left the grass to grow and hearts to crumble. My prayers will be with this single mom…she has Jesus and the right attitude and because of Him she and her babies will make it. {If you are ever in touch with her, please let her know I am praying in NY for her, and that there is great goodness on the other side of the darkness. Visit Longings End About page for details on the unexpected joy God brought us :)} And to you, Jen…thank you for your open heart that responded to His promptings. We — the church — are to BE JESUS… and you are! I love the red cabinet analogy. I found you from Titus 2 Tuesday and am so glad I did. And thanks for your link up, UNITE. Blessings to you, my sweet sister.

    1. Sheila – Can’t tell you how much my heart erupts at your comment. Thank you for being willing to share your story. I will absolutely tell her of your prayers and encouragement if I speak to her. Bless you abundantly!

  8. I love this sentence: ” Backing out slowly between the fence of my convictions and the grass growing because the flesh of man failed to lead him to where he was needed.”

    I thought, maybe God put the desire in your heart for the red cabinet so you would save the money, so you would have the $100 in your purse at just the right time. The sacrificial lamb had to move from where it was the day before in order to arrive just in time to be a substitute sacrifice for Isaac. Developing that discernment to listen like you did – to be able to say no when under pressure in order to have enough for God’s yes – what a powerful, teaching, loving testimony!

  9. I know this red cabinet that was on sale. I wanted it, too. Definitely did not have this same powerful encounter, but I didn’t buy it either. Such a powerful story you share here, Jen. So honored to read your words.

  10. Dear Jen
    Last week on the same day our oldest son had two urgent needs that involved a lot of money we didn’t have at the moment. Both were miraculously provided for by our Pappa. Sunday we had another need for our child and as I started to worry, Pappa gently asked me if I have already forgotten how He provided for my son. Immediately peace flooded my heart when I apologized and, lo and behold; just the next day He provided again! Great is His faithfulness.
    Blessings XX
    Mia

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *