When Your Spouse Is Hesitant To Adopt


I love this next lady whose sharing! (Actually, I love all the people posting their stories for National Adoption Month)

This lady, however, is possibly one of the most joy-filled people I have ever met!

She just glows with love for Jesus and love for people! When I met her for the first time, I just knew we were kindred spirits!

The last time I saw her, about a month ago, all she did was just boast on God, and brag on God’s BIG, wild, and amazing love and goodness!

How can you NOT love a lady like that?

What stuck out to me as I read her story, but also talked with her in person, is how patient and trusting and loving she is. How instead of bantering and begging, crying or manipulating….

She used wisdom when her passion was to adopt, but maybe her husband….well, was just a little bit slower, jumping on board this calling.

And I am guessing, no, I KNOW there are women out there reading this serious on adoption and all you can think about is, “These stories are great and I would LOVE to adopt, BUT my husband just refuses”.

This next poster and myself have talked about this and I think we both would tell you that adoption must come about organically. It can’t be forced. If it’s God’s plan, pray and trust, and wait for Him to speak to your husband.

If adoption is in a family’s destiny, prayer must be the primary engine, winning over your significant other.

Adoption isn’t always easy and requires teamwork, the iron sharpens iron, many-strands won’t be broke, kind of union.

But don’t stop reading, thinking, “Oh, that will NEVER happen! You don’t know MY husband! Prayer alone won’t persuade him.” God can do some pretty incredible and miraculous things in the hearts of our spouses, if we let Him.

Just like Kara’s post, as you read further, you might also be thinking, “Did this really happen?”

And, “Yes, it did”!  Please know…

file0001788017774God works in so BIG, INCREDIBLE, and OUTLANDISH ways that even we have difficulty sometimes believing it.

But, I will be the first to tell you, this story is real. This mama and her HUGE heart to adopt, and this whole family is so worth admiring, but is also sincere, down-to-earth, and a real genuine family…

Just. Like. Yours.

Cause remember, adoption is for real, every day people, not just mega-stars or faith giants!

So, as you read these words, hold on!

Ask God for faith to see Him work in BIG ways in your family too! He is an amazing, incredible God who so wants to impart to you and your spouse, His heart for adoption…

And sometimes He will speak to us in astounding ways, just to get our attention. Muster up some faith and get ready as you read my next friend’s story….

An Adoption Story by RM

Our adoption story started with one mama’s heart desire to have more babies…

My husband didn’t share my desire, but we prayed for several years.  Finally, after a lot of prayer and a pastor praying, an amazing thing happened….

God spoke to my husband. (This isn’t a normal occurrence for my husband.) But at work, he heard the word, “adoption”.

We attended the foster/adoption orientation the following week.

We got all licensed to be foster parents with intentions to adopt.  It took several months to have our first placement.

I was over the moon thrilled to meet our new family member!!  My two older children were excited too, but really wanted to know when this new child would come.

Every time the phone would ring, we were filled with butterflies.

When our little beautiful two and a half year old entered our home, it was very joyful!!!  These bright blue eyes looked at me and called me mama file5061249447173the first day we met.

She was the missing piece.

It took a year and a half for this precious little one to legally become ours forever.

The one thing I would tell others is that foster care will stretch you beyond your limits but God increased our faith more than if we would have stayed in our comfort zone.

There are a lot of ups and downs, but God was with us through it all.

We are no longer licensed, but God brought us another blessing.

It was prophesied over a whole church that I was visiting, that babies were coming & to prepare our homes!! This was 2 months before he was born!

Also, my youngest daughter & I were praying for a baby for a year before he came!! And when I did share with her that her tummy mommy had another baby she said, “WE ARE GETTING A BABY?!?!?” Sooo excitedly!!!

We are counting it all joy!!!

This verse I said moment by moment when we were going through the journey, “He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance to his pleasure and will”, Ephesians 1:5

~ A Foster/Adopt Mom, RM

Thank you for your miraculous testimony, RM

(As I have asked friends to write, I suggested that some families might need to use initials or general ending as a way to protect their children, especially if a particular family still has an open case.)

But wow!  Did you get that? First, my friend’s husband wasn’t so “into” adopting! THEN, our so awesome and beautiful God literally spoke to him at work one day!

Never doubt what God can do! Never question or hesitate, or step back away from something God has put in you.

Perfect love casts out fear….Fear that your spouse won’t come on board, fear that you are too young or old, fear that you won’t have the resources to do what God has called you to!

God is WAY bigger than our questions, doubts, or fears!

What I also want to highlight from my friend’s story is, the beauty of the bigger picture of what happened here!

My friend desperately wantfile9841247087919ed to adopt. But she waited and was patient and prayed for her husband. And THEN…

God not only gave their family ONE blessing, but TWO!

And when we do thing’s God’s way, don’t you know…He often multiplies the blessing!? He loves to reward us because of our faithfulness to trust Him, refusing to take matters into our own hands.

He lavishes His goodness on those that will let Him be Lord, instead of controlling our situation and forcing our own will or desires!

So, today I leave you with this…

  • Pray for God to give your spouse HIS heart for the orphan.
  • Stand fast, wait and keep praying, believing it is the call of all believers to “care for the orphan”. (James 1:27) in one capacity or another.
  • And friends, don’t get discouraged! Keep pressing into Him, hold tight in faith, and never, ever doubt, His incredible, miracle-working ways or goodness!

There is a list of book suggestions, here, if you or your spouse wants to dig deeper into either fostering or adopting. I would personally recommend starting with, “Rich in Love”. Or “Small Town, Big Miracle”.

My husband and I had the honor of visiting with Irene and Domingo Garcia who wrote “Rich in Love” in person.

We were at the Refresh Conference a few years ago, and were so humbled to hear from yet another couple who testified to the truth and were proof that NOTHING is impossible with God!

Keep believing friends! Keep trusting! Keep clinging to THE One who truly loved, died for, and called us as believers to care for the orphans!

For previous adoption stories in this series, click here. To watch a video of Irene’s faith and her husband’s miraculous testimony, click here! You won’t be disappointed!)

See you back here Monday, for another adoption story.

(Linking with Barbie, Create with Joy, Lori Schumaker, BlessedbutStressed)

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Jen Avellaneda

Jen is an adoptive, foster, & bio mom to trans-racial family. You can find her writing, overlooking her property, advocating for the orphan domestically and internationally, & making memories with her husband of 24 yrs.
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  1. US TOO! YEP. my loving, kind, CHRISTIAN husband wa a NO. I had less than a week before classes started for foster adopt. I cried out to God desperately! Lord change my husbands heart. FAST. God did just that. God SPOKE and my husband HEARD. I did too. I was right there! Goosebumpy stuff when God speaks! My husband looked at me with a shocked face and said, “How can I ever say no to God? I can’t say no to God. Looks like we are going to adopt.” It happens so much on this journey. Don’t let that hold you back. PRAY!

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