Sisters With Voices #UNITE Linky


“Slap, slap, slap”, the ball smacks against the shiny, gym floor. Sneakers squeak, as the girl’s still gauge each other, learning to become one, for the first time, playing select.

My daughter, the youngest, but one of the most vocal.

Three practice lay-ups at the far side of the court, the others rehearse working fluid, like a team concentrated to bring defeat and triumph.

They play well, but something is missing. Quiet glances, unspoken questions, and hesitancy prevails, clearly throughout the team.

A few girls pass over and over again, to the same people. Others are more shy, and get missed when it comes to scoring, entirely.

But all are valuable, one not more precious or important than the other.

Then, I hear him, the coach we have had for two full seasons says a phrase that sticks to me.

“Come on, talk to one another. I want to hear you say, ‘over here’, and, ‘I got her'”, example after example he gave.

file0001545806234But then, those words, the ones that plowed down deep into my existence, the ones that challenges me a bystander, and made me want to be a better person.

“We are not mute”, he goes on to tell these fifth and sixth graders, “We are not strangers, we are a team”

“We are sisters with voices.” Sisters. With. Voices.

Any successful group of people will not spot flaws, focus on weakness, judge, be skeptics, or criticize others weaknesses.

True leaders will gather together, find commonality, and realize we are one, sisters who must have voices.

Wow!  How I heard him. How my spirit leaped and danced and wanted to shout affirmation from there on the stairs of the auditorium.

And yet, as women we can be silent. We can miss that we are UNITED. We can think our part is quiet or insignificant or not necessary all together….


  • What if we were made to speak? Made to rise and be the voice and light in someone else’s day?
  • What if our children need to see us fight….not for some passing phase…but for what it really means to be a women, a sister in our day?
  • What if the silence is the weapon that traps women from being all they were made and purposed for?
  • What if we were made to use our voice, not to be strangers, but sisters….playing on the same team?

It wasn’t until crisis hit our family a little over five years ago, that I realized how much I truly need other women. 

As a child, I was the silent one, horrified of my own reflection growing up, rather skipping school in college and high school…

Than to stand up and speak in front of people.

And when you would rather fail your class than use your voice, the enemy clearly has entangled you, drown your words…

Deceived you into thinking, what you say, isn’t important. 

When you are more afraid of your own echo, or being rejected by some person you don’t know, there can seem to be still a million miles between you and your future destiny.

Sisters, it’s time we rise and use our voices. It’s time we stop shrinking back in intimidation, thinking it somehow glorifies God if we are weak and helpless, mute, or doormats.

Finally, I heard the girls at basketball shouting, “Over here”, “pass”, “good job”.

They were beginning to find their voices, participating and encouraging, working as a team and realizing the valuable and how necessary every person2ef275e24559aa944dd040ac1755339b was.

In the same way, let’s be for each other and not against each other, let’s speak love and kindness, respect, and verbalize our affection and the gifts we see in each other….

Le’t refuse to find fault, blame or criticize each other.

How might the world change if women around the world really rallied together, worked like a team, and functioned like the humble world-changers we can be?

What if we really understood, we are not made to be silent and passive, we were made to use our voices….

Isn’t it time we start acting like what we are…

Sister with voices?


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Jen Avellaneda

Jen is an adoptive, foster, & bio mom to trans-racial family. She speaks, writes, & passionately advocates for the orphan domestically & internationally with her husband of twenty-five years.
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  1. Jen- YES! YES! YES! I so love this and is what I have been trying to impart to the women in our church and under my leadership. Through God’s prompting a few years I wrote a little thing called Cherished Women Are… and it is much the same stuff you wrote here.. in fact, this years women’s retreat theme is going to be radiant together – about being united – one voice, standing together, when we are united, we shine – each and everyone of us. Thanks for hosting and for using your voice in your writing! Blessings… I know you are probably busy, but if you even feel the need to linkup to another party during the week, I would be honored for you to consider my new one… its a Thursday Party #TuneInThursday it stays open until Sunday. You can find it here:
    (Please feel free to delete the link if you feel it is inappropriate to post here).

  2. I couldn’t agree with you more; we must find our voices. I was that shy little girl that stood in line as everyone cut in front. I too found my voice through going through adversity and struggle. I just couldn’t be silenced.

    I have allowed God to use me in the public arena through speaking, teaching, and writing.

    Great post!

  3. I love these quotes:

    “Any successful group of people will not spot flaws, focus on weakness, judge, be skeptics, or criticize others weaknesses.”

    “Deceived you into thinking, what you say, isn’t important. ”

    The enemy definitely whispers that lie in my ear sometimes to get me discouraged about how effective the words I write in my blog are.

    I’m glad to be a sister of yours with a voice. What you write here is always so good and challenging.

    Thank you, and keep up the good work! :)

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