A Year in 3 Revolutionary, Life-Changing Words.

When I first saw her.  I didn’t know what to expect.  It’s like picking out a special gift.  And not knowing what it is.  Until it’s opened.

And some presents open more slowly.  Than others. Some people.  Take years to unwrap.

Other’s never do.

But, this one.  Her smile.  Told me otherwise.  At a turn of her head.  I just knew. There is more.  Inside….

Than the pieces. I see.  Broken. Abandoned.  Hurting.

And it was then.  Immediately. That I wanted to scoop up her hurts.  Place them in my hands.  And mold.  Like the Potter does the clay.

Taking dusk.  Ashes.  Incidences.  Calling forth man.  From their nothingness.

Because I could see it….

Beautiful.

Still can.

In spite of it all.

And when she came.  I saw the down turned eyes.  That troubled soul. That fractured spirit that needed a home….

Remembering it.  Once in me.

So, I asked her. To do something.

Repeat after me….

“I am beautiful.  I am wonderful.  I have value.  I have a plan and a purpose that no one else in the world can full fill….but me.”

And the absurdity.  She must have thought. Of it all.  Rolling her eyes. She repeating….

“I am NOT beautiful.  I am NOT wonderful. I DO NOT have value.  I DON’T have a plan and purpose that anyone in the world can full fill…..but me.”

And who wouldn’t want to jeer at her response?  Except I knew.  She meant it. Truly.  Fully.  Deep.  Inside. Yes, I knew….

She saw nothing.  Where there should have been.  Something.

Much.

And it saddened my hopeful heart.

Still, I kept on asking.  Tough question.  Requiring answers.  Kept digging.  For life among that dusty desert.  Hoping.  Praying.  She would see more.  Sweeping up pieces.  Together.  Trying to make her whole. With….

……Grace the glue.  Love the broom.

And days go on.  Weeks pass.  Months come.  Then, finally.  I hear it.

Once. Softly. Gently. Under her breathe….  “I am beautiful.  I am wonderful…”  And on and on.

No meaning.  No heart.  No expression.  Just rhetorical words.

But, I praise her.  Nonetheless.  And sometimes when we say something enough.  We become it.  When we start with an empty Alphabet.  The Alphabet of our choosing….

Becomes us.

And this is what I want.  Wanted.  Dreamed of.  For her.  A voice of her own.  One she chooses.  To be not what others say. But, say what she is blooming to.

Then.  One day….

“I AM BEAUTIFUL.  I AM WONDERFUL.  I HAVE VALUE. I HAVE A PLAN AND A PURPOSE THAT NO ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD CAN FULFILL.”

She shouts.  Joyfully. Whole-heartedly.  Powerfully unapologetic.

And I know.  Those swept up pieces.  Jig Jagged.  Together now….

Are worth more anything I could have done, this year.  More than dishes.  And duty.  More than even religious sitting.  In a church filled with people.  More than all the books I read on….“How to be a good Christian.”  More than all the sermons that I preached. Or heard.  On what “good people” should and shouldn’t be doing.

Risking.  Loving.  People.

Everything.  Worth.  Meaning.

The silent.  Risk taking.  Action.  Of a person loving others.  For the sake of the Kingdom.

And I would surrender it all.  Again.  The fits.  Pressing in.  Hours of long talks. The calling to rise. Heads.  Turned down.  The chanting….until chanting becomes believing.  And the calling life forth, from death….

Into eternity.

Spending an entire year wrapped up in the heart of a little girl.  A little girl who once looked down with dark eyes.  And now looks. Up.  Proclaiming…“I am beautiful.”

And when the year.  And life.  And time.  Is said and done.  The eternal pouring out.  Filling up.  Giving over….is all we will remember.  

Risking.  Loving. People.

The silent way we serve our Christ.  Remembering….once.  We too.  Were.  Unfound.  Unheard.  Also broken.

Downcast.  Forgotten.  Alone.

A child left.  No one understanding…..

Yes, once. I was her…..

A shattered one.  Needing a Savior….

And He found me.  By coming.  Dying….  
                                                             
Risking.  Loving.  People.

(Linking with Laura, Ann @ A Holy Experience)