In the city. I read a story. Pregnant homeless woman. Losing her business. Without money. Begging for food.
Because inside her….His light. A gift. A baby.
Then, there they stand. In a land….many of us cannot relate to.
I wonder if my blonde hair will be a radar….in these streets. Even though I have two daughters who are dark skinned….unlike me.
Still, I go a few blocks. And see…..Streets tagged and littered. A tent across…..
Until, turning around a corner….I spot him. Homeless.
He glances twice. Wondering if I will identify him as human. Or just walk by…like so many others.
But, I smile.
So much more identifying with the man in rags….than those dresses and ties covering something inside they seem to be desperately missing….
And I smile. With a smile that says….you are not alone.
And I see Jesus in his face. Like a little girl oblivious to the size or shape or outfit of his soul.
I see Jesus in this man….from the alley where colors find their home….on a long grey wall crying out for more.
- And how many times have we been grey?
- Stone wall wanting painting?
- Needing more than a colorless surface that the world fails to see as significant? Unique? Precious?
But, we drive away.
Car lot still beaming. Metal traps enticing the souls of people to come and hide inside a label. So that it will become their identity. Becoming who they are. What they are….Though the homeless man embodies….So much more than what we know….
Freedom. Soul. And an ability to know that this world is not our home.
Still flashy symbols drive down this road.
Many passing the tent.
Oblivious.
* This writing is of our journey into the city. The irony we find in a fancy restaurant across the street from a homeless mission. It’s of a wall tagged with street signs next door to a parking lot filled with BMW’s.
Please know, I am not judging those with financial blessing. We are far from desolate….and also have a new car we recently bought from a car dealership. I was simply burdened as we went into this restaurant and ate for a weeks wages….while a tent stared at us from across the street. It speaks this silent message that still….days later….burns within me.
And I write this, referring to the tension that plagues us between those that have nothing and see….and the rich (myself included) who have so much but struggle to break free.
Thanks for reading.
- What do you struggle with in your society? Your community?
- What tension do you feel between the have’s and have nots?
I would love to hear your story and thoughts…..
20 Comments
Oh, Jen, I feel your discomfort in this place and have shared it so many times. Paying too much for dinner while others go hungry. My husband and I have a shared moment that we continue to go back to because it totally defines this struggle. We once went to a steakhouse for a “fancy” night out- the menu had no prices- but when we got the bill I about lost my whole dinner. By the time we got to the car i was crying- telling my man how many compassion children we could have supported for a month instead of eating that steak dinner. He was frustrated that I couldn’t enjoy the splurge. I was heartbroken at the “waste.” We use the term “steak dinner” to describe our discomfort with the inequality all around us. And to compel ourselves to DO SOMETHING about it. AFter that dinner, we went home and signed up for one more compassion child!
Jen…you always write with grace…don’t we really need to feel these tensions…I just spent a week at the beach..one night we drove to where the “more affluent” vacation…it is a quaint little place…but I felt the same ache in my heart…just trying to process all of it…wondering how God views it all….blessings to you~
You so beautifully described this tension. Thanks for helping us see. Thanks for helping us be aware. You’re such a good writer, Jen.
Christan
I love the part where you associate more with the homeless man than the business suits. I sometimes feel that way too, disconnected with the suits that used to make me feel at home and now connected with the dirty side of life that so many try to hide. We all have a dirty side that we stuff inside and hide. But the homeless cannot stuff inside their dirty, so in my opinion that makes them much more honest than me.
Alica – Oh, the many dinners I have done the same. Thinking…”How many families could this meal have fed.” I love the key of it all in your comment….that you DID something about the God sized hole in your heart. God bless that little chid that gets fed and education because of your faithful giving to compassion. One more child changes because you felt that tension through our “steak dinner”. Thanks for sharing w/ us that story!
Ells – Yes, or where 5 star hotels are next to begging children. It pains me so. I wonder if that’s why we so often, try not to “see” them?
Christan – You are much too sweet. Thank you, my friend.
Brownie – Transparent. That’s what I love about the homeless! Thanks for helping me to see that!
thank you! I too have been having an inner battle…how do i love them all? how do I show Jesus to those who need him? why do I equate “need” with poverty?
thank you for your words dear!
Shannon – Such a powerful question…”Why do I associate needs with poverty?” I will be chewing on that question today.
glad thanks for the beautiful stir,
Jennifer
Jennifer – Thanks so much for reading!
This is a familiar battle with me too. I struggle around those that I know don’t have as much as me, so I downplay our blessings so they don’t feel bad. I’m thankful for everything God has provided, but still that battle is there.
i love this writing, and all the questions that come with it. no judgment heard. just honesty. we all need to self-examine, and on a regular basis! thanks for sharing your story.
steph
Alecia – I can so relate to what your are saying.
HopeUnbroken – That was my prayer that people wouldn’t see this as judgement…just honest questions from a searching girl.
yours photos and word paint a stark contrast. how shall we live? how shall we give? good stuff.
Ahhh…the tension. Yes. I can relate and have more questions than answers. But I think it is good to feel the tension of living in this fallen world.
Your writing is beautiful!
Thank you for sharing. These tensions are ones I have struggled with too. Where do I give my time to serve others? Who do I help? I am one who wants to help everyone and be everywhere (I can go to Africa and then to China and then to inner city Chicago all at once, right?) So we are foster parents, but I still see the homeless and wonder if it’s enough. Thank you for your beautiful writing and for giving me something to chew on.
The affluence and waste that occurs in first world countries is obscene.It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God.
It even worse to think of the homelessness that is ever increasing in our rich countries.
I ate a meal tonight at a bistro that could have fed a family of four for a month in a third world country.
…. We can all help in so many small ways that are not even a hardship to ourselves. Thank you for writing this…we all need (me too)serious prods to our rich butts:)
Suzannah – Oh that the great divide would lesson. If only in an ideal world.
Kathleen – It seems you hit the nail on the head. It’s a fallen world. Extremes exist. It is sad, but our stark reality.
Amber – Your comment could have been written by me. I want to do it all….feeling that deep dissatisfaction with the inequalities and injustices in our world….in me. So good “meeting” another foster parent also! God bless you as you minister daily, & selflessly my friend.
Rallentanda – I remember in college reading how the waist from developed countries could literally feed all the starving people in developing countries and then some. If what we throw away is the “daily bread” of those less fortunate how can I change to meet the needs in my world? I often ask questions like this. I love your comment and maybe next time I will have to take my double digit meal and walk outside and give it to the poor. Lol Wondering what they would think of that…? ;0)
God led me to start a blanket ministry for the homeless 3 years ago. They stole my heart and I began interviewing them for a book. They just want to be loved like the rest of us and treated like we would our friends and neighbors.
THese last 3 years I have also felt the tug, the battle within. The expensive dinners I don’t want anymore because all I can see are the hungry. I feel more of a connection with them than I do many of the affluent from my church. I don’t know what that says, but that’s just how it is.
Thank you for writing such a beautiful post.
i love how you help us to see Jesus, jen. and how you saw him in this dear man. bless you friend.
Kristin -No wonder I love your heart so much! Bless you for your ministry and your heart for the homeless.
Emily – Thank you Emily.