Falling into His Pool of Grace

Popcorn spills all over the floor. Not waking up to a clean house…or a quiet, calm house.  But, this morning. Popcorn.  And young feet pattering…..looking…..searching through treats left out by teenagers the night before.

And I implore…. 

Pick up the popcorn…. 

When we make messes, our job is to clean them up.”

And little hands innocently scoop up evidences of her work….

As fragments of my own words…return…. unwelcomed through my head.

Becoming a stone sitting restless….lying in my gut.

We are responsible for our own messes.” 

And though little feet run joyfully again…. 

Time forgets nothing.  

And like a stallion kicking, these words wrestle violently in my spirit.

And I move on…..

It wasn’t until swim lessons….

I get the message.

Kids swimming.  One drifts far from the edge.  Playing in deep….like so many times I have.

And she drifts away…like the Prodigal on display. Parents watching. Treading waters of self survival.  And oh….how I can relate.

There….Out in the deep….like I have been most all my life.

People watching….Fearful. Paralyzed.  Child panics….barely holding on.

Starts going under.

And then it happens.  The moment that made all the moments count.

The incident that tied my plaguing mind in a bow of understanding.  

Awakening me from lackadaisical oblivion binding me….

Dad jumps in.

Clothes and all. Scoops up daughter and get’s out.   Without one word. Consequence. Lecture.  Or bad look.  He just jumps in. Pulls her up.  Then, jumps out….

Soaked, phone and all.

And tears stream….

My tears.

Like a river chasing the source of it’s Creator.  
                                              Tears washing my own blind dust from the feet of my Healer. 
                                                                                                   Tears that joined this pool of surrender. 

And I wipe away my embarrassment that flows at this most inconvenient time.  Though watering well overflows because God speaks in this scare….And….

I get it.

When we drown.  Or disobey.  Or flounder around by waters of delight.  Or even fail to head the warnings He gives along the way. Even mocking and shouting…”Don’t worry Dad…it’s o.k.”

Then, we drown.  And we drown so fully and so completely that fresh air is foreign to our heavy, pain stricken lungs. 

And we are afraid and know and learn immediately….that we were rebellious all along.

Yet, He doesn’t mock or scold or brazenly say, “Look.  I was right.” 

He just loves.

He just loves….And scoop us up:  Like popcorn.  Like my life.  Like the child.  Like grace covering us in mercies dust.

And His Beauty is the towel that wraps us drenched in self. 

And joy abounds…

Instead of looks of reprimand.   

And we learn….and we learn well….at these times….there is no need to try to swim alone.

And the rock that sat in the pit of my stomach….dissolves in the knowing….

I was wrong….

Self-reliance suffocated Grace…like it always does……And I learn….

We don’t have to, “Pick up our own messes“.

Instead….we can come to His feet.  Lay down our broken pieces.  And offer them helplessly.

And He covers us….with His grace by the blood of Jesus.

And it is well.

And I walk into church that night. My grandmothers song from voices lifted high….

Amazing Grace.  

Tears again well.

And preacher meek and quiet and foreign to this land gets ready to preach…

And I hear Him pray….out loud…

“Only by Your Grace.”  

And He roars like a lion from the pulpit.

And I get the picture.

Grace Saves. 

And I go to bed.  Set Free.  Completely soaked in floods of His love for me….

Knowing today, His teaching was better than any five step lesson or intellectual, theological explanation….

It was the gift of how a dad….who really loves….always saves.

And I float slowly asleep…

In a pool of His Grace.

Linking with http://seedlingsinstone.blogspot.com/
& Emily at Imperfect Prose

Subscribed yet? Join here! Add e-mail below! (No fees & Spam-free)

* indicates required

You may also like:

22 Comments

  1. When we drown. Or disobey. Or flounder around by waters of delight. Or even fail to head the warnings He gives along the way.

    Without one word. He jumps in, He pulls her up.

    You have just described grace, friend, given and received. Beautiful post.

  2. It is evident, through the words in these pages, that the message of the holy spirit has completely sunk through to your heart. It challenges me to see beyond the rules and consequences and rewards and just see…

    the grace.

  3. Hi Jen – what you say is so true, we just don’t get it. I really appreciated the visual of your post because if an earthly dad would jump in and save his daughter, without even thinking, without worrying about ‘stuff’, why are we so surprised that God does the same thing? Beautiful Jen
    God bless
    Tracy

  4. I’m far too prone to yell at my kids for their mistakes. My only saving grace is that I’m not afraid to apologize. :/ I hope there’s a lesson in that for my kids, too.

  5. Lori – Thanks

    Tracy – Absolutely true…especially since earthly dads are imperfect & His love perfect and true! Good point!

    Michelle – Thank YOU for coming by.

    Kathleen – I heard once the signs of maturity being…not that we makes less mistakes, but that the time between when we make them and when we repent gets shorter and shorter. I always loved that.

    Monkey – So glad!!
    Bless you all today! ~ jen

  6. In highschool I taught swimming. You have created such a vivid emotional scene here. I have lived and witnessed this time and time again. that moment of desperation, the parents love shines out and they scoop up their child, nothing matters but, love and comfort, your words describe it all best. A parents lve heavenly or earthy. Great writing

  7. owlmeetsfairy – Really? Didn’t know this happens frequently. It’s funny how onlookers didn’t respond…but the dad jumped in without hesitation. Yes…so much like our Heavenly Father. Grace. Thanks for your comment.

    dosweat – Thanks for the follow. Will be stopping by to check out your blog.

    Danielle – Thanks for linking up.

    ~ jen

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.